If you want to let go and relax more, here's why it's tougher—and easier—than it seems.
Alan Watts said: “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim, you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do, you will sink and drown. Instead, you relax and float.”
This quote paints a powerful image, doesn't it?
Because we immediately understand the pointlessness of trying to “hold onto water.” We might even laugh at the utter silliness of the image.
AND YET, in our lives, so many of us grasp and cling and fight “the water”—aka Life, aka what’s already happening whether you like it or not—instead of just letting go and relaxing.
Especially if Life is giving us what we don’t want.
Or what we don't think we can handle.
Or, sometimes, our worst nightmare. (And believe me, I’ve been there. Many times over.)
Little surprise that after years of trying to “hold onto water,” we may feel wiped out. Or as if we’re actually sinking. Even drowning.
Because, in a way, we are.
Sink or Swim
So, why the heck do we (unintentionally) do this to ourselves?
Oftentimes, it’s because there’s a deep sense of DISTRUST swirling below the surface.
A Distrust we may not even be consciously aware of.
A Distrust that can lie at the heart of much of our fears, our resentments, our unhappiness and our (perceived) limitations.
Take a second and check it out for yourself, though.
Close your eyes and tune inside—not into your head, but into your Inner Being.
Then, even if this sounds weird or doesn’t make sense, just ask yourself: “Do I trust Life?” And be sure to notice any body sensations or emotions or images that come up.
Go ahead and try it for a moment. I’ll wait.
Okay, so did you perhaps notice a tightening or clenching somewhere in your body?
Or maybe it was more like a buzzy or prickly sensation?
Or perhaps an image or color came into your mind’s eye?
Or maybe a subtle feeling of anger or sadness or anxiety? Or an emotion you couldn’t quite place?
These can be precious clues from your Inner Being’s innate intelligence. Clues to help you get in touch with your Distrust and ultimately shift into Trust. Which, in turn, can allow you to realize real, lasting PEACE—not just temporary respites enabled by a day at the spa or a good gummy.
Coming Up for Air
So, how do we stop punching at water and shift into PEACE? Especially when life gets challenging?
Well, when I work with clients around all this, the first step is often the opposite of what you may think.
I don’t try to build up the client’s trust.
Or manufacture a sense of safety.
Or even help them to relax.
Instead, we go deeper into the Distrust.
We explore it from all angles. At a cellular, energetic level.
Sometimes, we even jump right into the pit of Distrust. Not to linger there or indulge the Distrust, but to shine a giant, "soul-sized" Light on it.
Until, eventually, in each person’s divine timing, they start to see through the Illusion.
You've Got the Power
When you finally see Distrust for the Illusion it is, it's a LIBERATION. It can even change your entire life.
Because you wake up to the Truth of the matter. Of you. Of everything.
That, on a soul level, we really are safe. That everything really is okay. Even when it seems like anything but.
I know this may sound completely paradoxical (as many great spiritual truths are). It may even sound downright insane, or even offensive. And god knows I'm no master of fully embracing complete Trust. But I've experienced enough periods of it to know that—as much as my ego doesn't want to admit this—everything really is okay, even when it's not.
Of course, until you EXPERIENCE this for yourself—and I do mean “experience,” not just intellectually “getting it” or feeling some type of way for a hot minute—it’s easy to believe that such deep Trust and Relaxation in life is impossible.
After all, how many times have we—or other people—tried telling ourselves to “just let it go" or "just relax”? And how well did that work out?
Trying to “just relax” is like putting the cart before the horse.
We can’t relax unless our systems feel SAFE. (Which is why, for instance, female animals giving birth will shut down labor if there's a potential threat nearby—a feat that "shouldn't" be physically possible.)
So, again, we can't relax unless our systems feel SAFE.
And Safety requires Trust.
At a deep, visceral, cellular level.
When you tap into this, though, an incredible thing happens: Trust and Relaxation arise AUTOMATICALLY.
You don’t have to take any actions to get there, or think positive thoughts, or stop thinking less-than-positive thoughts. You’re already there. It can even shift in an INSTANT.
My brave clients prove this every day.
When they walk into my office frazzled or fearful or with furrowed brows, and then they leave an hour later looking and feeling like a completely different human being, marveling at how they can feel that much lighter and brighter and even serenely calm.
Or, when the issues and people that once triggered them gradually lose their intensity.
Or, when they come to find that the peace and power they seek has always been WITHIN them.
Just as it is within YOU.
Want to feel more empowered & at peace around a challenge you're facing?
Join the free Pain Into Power community (see below) or reach out for more info about working with me (firstname.lastname@example.org / 818-233-0433).
Soul-centered Life Coaching is deeply transformational work that helps you embody your true power, peace and potential. Because an extraordinary life isn't beyond your reach; it's your birthright.
Lisa Berzack is an inspirational writer and soul-centered life coach devoted to helping people find inner healing and live a more empowered, awakened life. She is also the author of a forthcoming self-help memoir. To learn more about Lisa’s transformational offerings, visit www.PainIntoPower.com.
© Lisa Berzack, 2022.